Tuesday, May 7, 2013

My Future Male Counterpart

Last week I talked about how I was abnormal. This week I'm going to talk about how I'm abnormal in the disguise of being normal.

I have thought before about what kind of man I might want to spend the rest of my life. (Spoiler Alert, that's the normal part.) I don't consider myself much of a romantic, I've barely had any sort of romantic relationship ever. Nonetheless, I have a pretty good idea of the criteria this man would have to meet. It goes a little something like this.

-If you do not like video games (chief among them, Legend of Zelda), anime, manga, books, sitcoms, or alternative and indie music, you need not apply. (By the way, you are not interesting.)

-Understand that my father was considering buying a gun, but I told him not too. Instead, I suggested he be creative with what we have, namely the chainsaw, the knives, law mower. We are now working together on torture techniques. Know the stakes. Do not break my heart.

-While on that note, my best friend will also be keeping an eye on you. Know that she could easily end our relationship. Stay in good grace with her.

-Sundays will be dedicated to the Jesus

-Saturdays will be dedicated to Doctor Who

-Any other day I will be writing, deal with it

-I understand that I don't know how to talk to men. You do not need to point this out. That's what I have my best friend for.

-I'm a sucker for a cheesy pick up line.

-I know nothing of sports and am not a fan of physical activity in general. Do not expect this from me.

-Please don't look perfect, you're making me look bad.

-I understand that women tend to be more emotional then men. I am no exception. If I'm going off on a rant, feel free to ignore me, or even if you listen do not feel pressured to have to contribute to the conversation. Just, what ever you do, for the love of God do not mutter something about me being a woman after words.

-I am a fan of intellectual conversation. You are not allowed to not be wise.

-As a woman of Christ I am looking for someone to be a strong leader of my house. I am not looking for weak-willed people.

-Sometimes, I come home and I do not want to talk. I do not want to do anything. I just want you to be in the room with me so I don't feel alone.

-I tend to tell people I don't like being touched. This is a lie.

-If you are listening to music, whether you know I like it or not, please keep the volume at a reasonable level.

-Our bathroom must remain spotless at all times.

Stats Of The Week
Song:  Hearts Safe by Tenth Avenue North
Book:  Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers
Word: Terse
Quote: " I have always imagined that paradise will be some kind of library."
~Jorge Luis Borges

1 comment:

  1. I.LOVE.YOU! I shall show this to your possible future companion. lol